Names of the Dead

Through the 1980s and 1990s my wife and I ran a small tv/vcr repair shop. She had type 2 diabetes. Health insurance company agents would laugh us out of their office when we tried to get health insurance for Ruth. As Ruth got older, she began having complications and all profits from our business went to doctors, hospitals and drug stores. Ruth got a job with a large chain bank as a teller. They had health coverage for their employees but it would not cover Ruth's pre-exisiting condition. We found later that this pre-existing condition could cause all kinds of problems. Such as slipping off a diesel fuel covered gas pump island and tearing tendons in your ankle. The insurance company claimed that her balance was affected by her diabetes and she could have otherwise caught herself and not been injured. We were appaled by the gall of their claim. Ruth had no problems with her balance. In 1996 Ruth's kidneys failed and she had to go on dialysis. Twice per week I would close the shop and drive her 30 miles to Atlanta and wait for four hours while her blood was cleansed with a machine. Months later she was placed on home dialysis which came with a $1400 per month bill for the supplies. We could not even start to pay it. We were already past our eyebrows in bills from doctors and hospitals. We tried for two years to get her on Disability. We were told that, frankly, you could not get on it without hiring a lawyer. It was just the way the system worked. We could not afford a lawyer. In April 1997, Ruth had a stroke while getting dressed to go to work. The symptoms of the stroke were unusual, severe nausea. I thought perhaps she had food poisoning or the flu, but since she could not keep even water down it was dangerous considering her diabetes. I took here to the emergency room at the local hospital and it took them over a week to figure out that she had had a stroke. I closed my shop permanently since the cost of new VCR's had dropped under $70 and they were really not worth putting parts and labor into anymore. On July 23, 1997, Ruth had a stroke and a heart attack and died. on the same day we sent off the last check that paid the mortgage off on our modest house. Two days later, I got a letter that said she was eligible for disability. I am still alive. I'm nearly 60, have no job, can't find one. Not too many people want vcr's fixed. Nor anything else electronic for that matter. It is cheaper to throw it away and buy another one. I have no teeth, no dentures, and am wearing 10 year old glasses. I have barely been able to keep the utilities turned on by renting a room in my house, but now I have no tenant and it looks like stuff will be turned off next month. Sometimes I wish I had died with her. So, Kudos to the insuance company agents who did their job well. If they had taken on coverage of this "dog" they would certainly have lost money. And that's the name of the game after all isn't it?